It's hard to forget sometimes
by caaaiiittt
Summary: Hermione tries to make herself believe she loves him, try and make herself love him. But does she really love Draco, or does her heart belong to another? ooc; Drama and Character death.


The whole drive back to Luna's I was crying silent tears, letting them run down my face and soak my shirt.

Luna was pretty supportive about it. I knew I'd look back and call myself silly, but right now it felt like the whole world was dangerous, no matter where I went it wasn't safe and no matter what I did I would get rejected, hurt, pushed away. I'd be denied that safe cushion that I'd always counted on, always expected to be there.

Right now I'd trust no one but those of the Longbottom house, Luna and Neville.

_And another,_my mind whispered, but I dug my nails into my skin, tried to make myself forget. 'I can't, I can't,' I muttered, while doubling over in pain; Emotional pain, pain from the heart.

Luna shrugged off this as normal behaviour; she just knew not to question me. I sent my silent thanks to her; space was just what I needed now.

But I couldn't stop that name flowing from my mind, to my heart, my soul. It hit me so hard, I didn't think I'd ever be able to continue.

Long ago I'd stopped it, I'd made myself stop loving him, I'd stopped myself from thinking about him. That's where Draco had come in.

Did I really love Draco? No. I never had, but I'd conned myself into thinking I did, because, it wasn't hard. Think about it, super hot, smart, and he knew just how to sweet talk a girl. He knew how to make a girl feel wanted.

Draco was nothing when compared to _him._ Those freckles, the way his cheeks would turn bright red, and that soft red curled hair.

His face flooded from my memory, from that locked up box in my mind, I screamed out in pain.

My hand flung to the door handle just as Luna hurriedly pulled over to the side of the road.

I was out in a flash and I threw up into the gutter. When I was finally done, Luna waved her wand quickly to clean up the remains.

'Luna,' I choked out. 'I need to go somewhere, I'll apparate, and when I'm done I'll apparate back to your house.' I prayed inside that she would believe me, she would take my story and trust me, trust it.  
I hoped she would let me go.

Luna nodded and let go of my hand. With that, I turned on the spot and found myself in a graveyard overlooking the ocean.

The large wave I'd been watching crashed into the cliff that I stood upon. Still watching the waves, I let my feet guide me, through the rows that I had tried so much to forget. To the grave I didn't want to remember.

Flowers were around the grave, some wilting and some fresh looking. My knees dropped to the ground, and I used my wand to conjure a flower.

Shakily, I placed it on the grave, and I forced my eyes to read the words read so many times, permanently etched into my brain.

His name was carved into the stone. I swallowed my tears, and read them aloud, but all that left was a whisper.

'Ron Weasley...'

I closed my eyes, the lump rising in my throat almost too much to bear now.

'I loved you. I love you still. I miss your wide smile, your softly curled hair and those freckles.'

I stood, walking slowly toward the edge of the cliff, my eyes watching the crashing waves sharply. My feet were about half a metre from the edge. The drop was quite a long one, and the end was a large amount of sharp rocks.

'I give you anything Ron, I'd sacrifice anything.' I repeated the last word in a whisper as I took those last steps.

When I was falling, I finally felt free. The weight of the world on my shoulders was finally taken away. I had to be with him again. _Reunited through death._

My life didn't flash before my eyes, like many said would. I didn't want to anyway. I'd made too many mistakes in that life, and if I'd had my time over I'd have been there.

_Been there, been there to stop it, to save him, I wouldn't have ignored it, I wouldn't have let it go on, I wouldn't have let him die, I wouldn't let the knife go all the way through him._

_Ron,_ I thought in my final seconds,_I'll be with you again soon._

**Reviews are love, so review review.**

**And just so it is clear, this fanfic is COMPLETE and will NOT be added to. I hope you liked how it ended.**

**-Cait**


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